“How everyone else sees you” is a lie. Do this.

Facing a mirror you see merely your own countenance; facing your child you finally understand how everyone else has seen you.  (Daniel Raeburn)

“How everyone else sees you” is a lie.  

It’s a lie. “How EVERYONE else sees you” never existed for anyone. It is a lie.

Jesus Christ, Mohammed, and Buddha are each venerated, worshiped and hated by millions. Each of them had a very consistent personality.  Each had integrity.  Do you really expect everyone to see YOU one way when the world cannot agree on how it sees these 3 major figures?

Manage the perception of the people you care about.

If everyone is going to see you differently anyway, then you need to worry less about the people who are less important.  It matters how the taxi driver and the restaurant waiter think of you, but you should care a lot more about how your child and spouse think of you.  You may want to impress your boss one way, your colleagues another, and the coach of the opposing Little League Baseball team another way.  And everyone is going to be all mixed up together at times.

So first decide how the most important people should see you.  Then decide how, in addition, you want others to see you.

I don’t want you to have a split personality.  I want you to figure out your primary roles and excel at them.  You have to dress, work and react one way to become a manager, a different way to be a sales star, and another way to become a technical guru.  It is just a fact.  You have to worry about impressing different people in different ways for each role.  If you try to be a different person to everyone, you will be called a hypocrite, chameleon and a fool. If you figure out how to live all the time so that you impress the most important people the way you want to, and also get along with everyone else, you have the seeds of greatness in you.  That greatness will be the greatness YOU want.

How everyone else sees you is important, but impossible to manage.  Figure out how you want the most important people to see you and work on that first.  Then let everyone else figure out who you are.

Something to do today

Make a list of the most important people: