John enters the room and smiles a second. Then the weary look of trench warfare, mustard gas, and too many days huddled in muddy water take over his face. Listening to one conversation he closes his eyes and barely moves his head side to side. He adds one point of gloom to another conversation. By the time the meeting starts everyone feels a little hopeless. Then the manager comes in and gives an upbeat presentation about success, profits, goals and objectives. Somehow it doesn’t quite take off. Everyone has a vague feeling of unease. Only a few trace it to John.
John enters a room and the energy of the team gets worse and worse. He has been warned about his negative attitude, so he is subtle. John never comes close to committing a firing offense. He should be fired anyway. Immediately.
You can teach a dog to do brain surgery with less effort and damage than trying to teach a John to be happy. Hopefully some cosmic shift will happen and John will take charge of his life. Once he really starts making progress in the areas that bother him, the rest of the world will shift. His outlook will shift.
The trouble is that change has to come from within. Bosses, coworkers, spouses and children have tried to change John for years now. No one else can change John but himself. When that happens, he will add life to other people instead of sucking all the joy out of living.
Something to do today
Are you John? Are you the whiner, moaner and complainer? No? Prove it. Count how many positive things you say for every negative thing. What is the ratio? What is the effect?
Jason has had 3 promotions in 2 years. His pay has gone up 50%. His attitude is a delight. If there is a tough job, he’ll rally the team and get the job done. Jason not only gets the chance to fix disasters, he fixes the problems behind the disasters. No one has ever done that before. He is having a huge impact. He seems to whistle a magic tune that improves attitudes and gets unbelievable results.
Jason also just quit. He took a new job that pays a little less than he earns now.
Two things happened. First, Jason realized his boss would always be a loose cannon and Jason would always get to clean up. Second, with a boss like that it was obvious the company would never go out of business, but it would never get much bigger either.
The best part is that all the things he did looked great when he applied for a job. He applied at their strongest competitor. Jason is going to a company that is really growing. It is a company with a plan and a history of doing things right the first time.
Wherever you are, whistle a happy tune. Put an accomplishment list together that will carry you into a better job, and if necessary, get that job in a better company.
Something to do today
Just for the record, all the stories I tell are true, but the names are changed.
Document your accomplishments for each week. Give a copy to your boss in a format he can use for his reports. That way you can be sure he knows why you are the best employee he has.
Our office was small, 5 desks. We always wear office casual. Our interview style is casual. We ask a lot of tough questions, but we try our best to put candidates at ease.
A candidate was making some rather crude remarks about former coworkers. He shoveled up some really inappropriate dirt on some characters he knew. Finally he was told, “Saying things like that in an interview is going to keep everyone from wanting to have anything to do with you.”
He replied, “But this isn’t an interview.”
His mistake
You are in an interview anytime you talk with someone who can help you get a job. Use your interview manners when you talk to friends, acquaintances, recruiters, people in Human Resources and when you talk to a company President. Your friend who knows a manager in another company is interviewing you when you ask him to submit your resume. A recruiter is always interviewing people.
Some interviewers, like recruiters, require more in-depth information than others. Give it to them, but don’t show hatred. Don’t viciously gossip.
That doesn’t mean you should hide things, it means you should get over them. Let them go. Forgive. Forget. At the very least stop bringing horrible things up.
A way to measure what to say
The measure of what you should say now, is what you imagine yourself saying about the situation in 5 or 10 years.
When you are looking for a job in 5 or 10 years you will not say much about the SOB’s at your last job. They won’t be worth the time. You may have to say why you left, but it will only take 20 seconds.
When you paint someone with a hateful brush, you expose your hate. Your hatred, loathing or disgust is never pretty. Those who see it will always wonder when you will say the same things about them. A rabid vicious dog is never welcome in any neighborhood. So, why would someone want you, a vengeful, spiteful, nasty mouthed person, working on their team?
Get on with your life. Forgive, forget. Concentrate on the good things you do. Remember, you are always in an interview.
Something to do today
Think about the negatives that come out of your mouth in an interview. Figure out a way to clinically describe bad things that happened without emotion. Figure out how to do it in 20 seconds.
Do you pick up money you see on the ground? Do you stop your career in order to do a menial project or take a job someone else should do?
Bending over to pick up a hundred dollar bill is a bad investment of your time if you are Bill Gates. He has averaged earning more than that every two seconds since Microsoft started. I did the math.
Imagine you’re the fastest pizza maker in the world and make the best pizzas ever. However, your name is also Tom Monaghan, and you founded Domino’s Pizza. Is the best use of your time to make pizzas and sell them? No. Not even close. No matter how good your pizzas are, or how many you can make, if you focus on making pizzas instead of making a corporate empire, you will be wasting your time.
Just because you are the best person for the job, doesn’t mean the job is the best opportunity for you.
Something to do today
What are you doing that keeps you from tackling more important projects? Who can you get to do that job for you?
A giant cockroach steals the hero’s gun and swallows it, So the hero taunts the cockroach until it eats him. A few minutes later the cockroach explodes and our hero is standing there holding the huge gun the monster ate a few minutes before. Men In Black was a lot of fun. In that case the only way to save the world was to survive in the stomach of a giant bug.
There has to be at least 5 great job hunting analogies there. Create your own, then read mine. I bet mine is different.
The giant bug wants nothing more than to get into its spaceship and get away. Of course the earth will be destroyed if it gets away, but that is not the bug’s problem. The two puny humans must do everything they can to keep it from leaving. They taunt it, harass it, insult it, and step on small earthly cockroaches (relatives and friends) to get it to delay its departure. They figure out what the bug can’t ignore and get it to come back and deal with them.
Hiring managers are like giant cockroaches. They just want to hide in their offices and get away from you. You are a waste of their time unless you tell them something that proves they need you. They would rather have their receptionist shred your resume than take the time to talk to you. Take three lessons from the way the Men In Black fought the giant bug:
You have to find the right words
You have to engage them in conversation
A relative or friend may be able to get them to talk to you
Over the next three articles I will show you how to do each of these things. The giant cockroach, the hiring manager, will give you all the hints you need. I’ll show you what those hints are.
Something to do today
What do you need to do to get a hiring manager to need to talk to you?
“I want to find a place where I don’t have to work so hard anymore. I’m 6 years from retirement. With my experience, I should be able to get top dollar for my next job.”
Do you see the absolute logical disaster in that statement? He wants to work less, slow down preparing for retirement, and be paid as much as ever. I hear these words at least once a week. They are the prelude to disaster. This guy may get another job, but he will be fired if he “doesn’t work so hard anymore”.
No one wants to pay you to relax and take it easy. They want your best effort. They want miracles. If you decide it is time to slow down, then step down to do that. If not, someone who wants to work hard is going to leave tire tracks up your back. He will run right over you to climb his career ladder. Your boss will cheer him on and give him your chair.
A lot of people complain about age discrimination. There is a fair amount of it, but more often the problem is that the young guy is obviously determined to excel. He commits to hard work. His record shows 50, 60 and 70 hour weeks. The older person literally says in an interview, “I’ve learned how to work smart and not hard. I don’t need to put in more than 40 hours a week anymore.” The boss who is putting in 70 hours a week will not believe the old guy can do it. Even worse, often the older guy has a history of declining output.
Who would you hire? The person whose output is increasing, or decreasing?
Especially if you are over 40 (or 50, or 60) like me, you have to show in every second of your interview that you can outwork, outlast, and outperform any of those young guys. Your message is that they don’t know the meaning of accomplishment. If you prove you won’t relax and take it easy, you’ll get the job. It doesn’t matter who you are competing against. If you relax, you’ll get tire tracks up your back.
About the last two weeks
This series is about what makes or breaks a job hunt. Reality and the real world. My list of the reasons people get a new job or struggle includes:
Do you have a Helium II attitude?
Are you hurting?
Are you ruthlessly exploiting your advantages?
Are you measuring up to the competition?
Are you using outdated or overly niche skills?
Are you really worth 10x what you’re paid?
Do you carefully curate how people perceive you?
Are you continuing to polish your skills?
Will you work hard, or get run over?
Think about your job search. Just think. And then take notes about your conclusions.
You are not trying to get the job of “minion” or “muscle”. Don’t pretend that exploiting your life experience is wrong. It is not the same as mugging someone in a back alley. The real reason most people don’t want to exploit their advantages is that they “want to stand on their own two feet”. It is a lovely macho phrase that means very little. Our society, families and personal lives all rest on the shoulders of those who came before us. Admit that no matter what you do, others have helped you. Get on with using the advantages that parents, teachers, friends, clergy and God have given you.
Here are some excuses people use and reasons to exploit them for your advantage.
I will not exploit my family connections to get a job.
Acorns don’t fall far from the tree. Employers need reliable hires. Getting someone from a good family is a much better bet than hiring a complete stranger. If they can’t hire you, but they suggest someone else hire you, they get brownie points from that other person. They win as much as you do.
My friends are too close to my heart for me to ask them for help.
If your friends object to helping you get a job, they don’t trust you with THEIR reputation. If you are going to let them down, you are not a friend. If they trust you and you will follow through, helping is what builds friendships.
I refuse to manipulate their emotions.
People always hire based on emotion. Always. Even if no one talks to you and they only give you a paper test, they hire on emotion. Paper tests are put together based on what people FEEL will give them the best employee. Your pay will be based on emotion – how well they FEEL you will do. Promotions are based on emotion – how do they FEEL you will do in the new job. Don’t be dishonest. Don’t be an actor. Tell the truth simply. The emotions behind the truth will help you Use them.
Inviting them to lunch is brown nosing and sucking up.
Actually it is called networking. In many companies senior partners and executives can be fired for not having lunch with enough different people. They are evaluated on lunch. Literally.
I won’t tell them I left because I was sick. I don’t want their sympathy.
You are fine now and it is relevant to understand your resume. If it will substantially help you get the job, tell them. Talk to a couple of job experts and get their opinion. If it will help, exploit it.
I want the job, but I don’t feel right pressing them to choose me
They want to hire the person with the best attitude. They want the person who will work the hardest. They want someone who they can promote. They want someone who is excited. They want to hire the hungriest person. How can they tell that about you unless you keep asking them, “When will you decide?”, and, “When can I start?”
It is greedy asking for more money.
If the offer is very good, take it. Don’t argue. Otherwise, ask for more money. If you really are worth it, get the money. If they pay you more, you will be less likely to leave for another job because of more pay. They win too.
Taking this job to get experience, when I plan to leave later, is wrong.
Hiring and training you does cost money. Companies that invest that money have already figured out how to profit from it. They will either give you a raise and promotion, or expect you to leave. They will make money. You won’t cost them a thing.
I’m a veteran, but it is not fair to use that to get a job.
The leadership, teamwork, calmness under fire, discipline and fortitude veterans develop is uncommon. Bring it up.
Your life experience makes a difference. Whatever that experience is. You need to use it and exploit it.
Something To Do Today
Think of these “excuses”. If there are any that you use, how can you use it to your advantage?
A woman moved into a new neighborhood and asked the man next door what the people who lived there were like. He answered, “They’re just people. What were the people like in your last neighborhood?” She told him exactly what she thought. He replied, “I think you’ll find people around here are exactly the same kind of people.” It is mostly what you take with you, not the neighborhood, that determines how you will like where you live or work.
Laid off, fired, divorced, or the death of family, friends or pets can all make you hurt badly. The trouble is that many people take those pains to work. There they perform poorly or not at all. Bosses understand a few days of mourning. The trouble is that some people don’t get back in the saddle. Those people are horribly unproductive or counterproductive for months or even years.
The people who hurt the most have the toughest time finding a new job. It is obvious when someone is suffering that we often tell them to take a week or two off to recover before they apply for another job. Why blow a great opportunity because you are in pain? Some people are so badly hurt we won’t even try to help them get a job.
In other words, don’t expect to get a great job while you are hurt or mourning. If you really are hurting you need to change and get back to normal or no one will want to work with you.
Poor social skills and terrible work habits have the same symptoms as debilitating emotional pain. Some symptoms are that you think, and it is true, that everyone at your last job was HORRIBLE. The boss was a lunatic. All your coworkers avoided you. Promotions and pay raises were denied because someone hated you without any reason. People were talking behind your back. Everyone wanted you to leave.
The problem with that debilitating pain (or the other problems), is that you refuse to take responsibility yourself. When things are going that bad at a job, it is always your fault. You are bringing that anger upon yourself by something you do. Your attitude, reactions, the chip on your shoulder, or lack of listening, may incite the problem. Occasionally, very rarely, you have the wrong job. The problem is you.
Don’t bring those problems to your next job. If everywhere you go smells like crap, check the bottom of your shoes before you blame someone else.
Something To Do Today
Think about your job search. Just think. And then take notes about your conclusions.
Do you mistrust “Positive Attitude” mentors? Do their programs sound good but make you depressed after a while?
The answer is found in liquid Helium vs Helium II.
Helium II is a very unusual liquid. In the next paragraph I’ll use two people to show the difference between liquid Helium and Helium II.
Jim applied to be a space shuttle astronaut. He practiced his positive mental attitude and visualizations twice a day for an hour. He knew that would get him the job. Somehow he ended up getting a rejection letter. Jim thought that being a 35 year old, out of shape, high school dropout out without a job or a desire to get one should have been overpowered by his “positive attitude”. A 77 year old man had more of a positive attitude than Jim, so he got the job. John Glen flew into space as an old man because he figured out a way to overcome the huge obstacle of age. It involved getting a job in congress and deciding how much money NASA got.
Attitude is really about preparing, contributing and finding your way around obstacles. Jim did not have a positive attitude. He just liked to think he did. John Glenn had a positive, unstoppable Helium II attitude.
Norman Vincent Peale, Maxwell Maltz and other attitude masters always said that attitude is NOT everything. Attitude just helps you figure a way around obstacles or a better direction to go with your energy. Positive attitude was never meant to be a replacement for reality and effort.
Helium II is an example of gas with an attitude. Helium II is supercooled helium that is not just a liquid, but a very special liquid. It will slip through molecule sized cracks in a container. If you leave it in an open beaker, it will climb the walls of the beaker and get out. Swirl it into a little whirlpool and it won’t stop swirling because it has no internal friction. It is practically unstoppable in many ways. The only way to really stop it is to let it warm up just a little bit. Then it becomes a normal liquid and all those fascinating behaviors stop.
You can have a Helium II attitude. Use your positive attitude to look for ways to escape the container you are in. Is there a crack you can exploit? If necessary, can you climb out of any career pit you have fallen into? If nothing else, you need to keep moving while waiting for your next opportunity. Don’t ever stop improving yourself and doing outstanding work. If you let yourself get hot under the collar about what has happened to you, you may become stuck right where you are, or slip even lower. Prepare and grow while keeping your eyes open for the next opportunity.
A while ago I helped a man get a much better job. For years he has been struggling with jobs that were below his skill level. The reason they were below his skill level is that he has always been educating himself. He has been spending his own money to better himself. His jobs have not measured up to his constantly growing skills. Since he was overqualified he decided to do the jobs he had exceptionally well. It wasn’t easy. But with his preparation I finally found him the perfect opportunity. I doubt he will stop now. He’ll keep studying and preparing. Pretty soon he’ll be too big for this job and have to find an even bigger opportunity. For now he’s just grateful he kept on moving and kept up a really positive attitude. The kind of attitude that always finds a way.
Something To Do Today
Writing in a job journal is a great place to start, you can write about what you want to do better. Writing it down rather than saying it reinforces your decisions.
A woman I know well was promoted to a level way above her comfort zone. She had never failed in the past with her last position, but this new promotion was stressful and a big deal to her. One of her friends gave her this advice:
“Congratulations. Relax. Cool it. Just do good work daily and before you know it, it will be a career.”
That is good advice any time you find yourself in a job, or interview for a job, that is way beyond where you expected to be.
Something To Do Today
Do your best every day, and you will quickly grow into the position.
A woman I know well was promoted to a level way above her comfort zone. She had never failed in the past with her last position, but this new promotion was stressful and a big deal to her. One of her friends gave her this advice: