Tag Archives: Attitude

My last job stunk, what do I say?

“My last employer lied to me.  He looked me straight in the eye and lied to me twice in the employment interview.  Then he spent the next year undermining me.  He made it impossible to reach the pay level he promised me.”

When he told me that, I understood.  I’m an agency recruiter. I could see from his previous jobs that he was exceptionally good at what he does. Before he goes out on a job interview I’ll tell him how to handle that situation.  Eventually he’s going to have to get over that job wound.

The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.  (Gandhi)

Remember, your attitude is everything.  Managers know that some bosses reek.  Every manager has also had an employee who was terrible.  Your interviewer has to decide if you or your boss was the problem.  Because they lack facts, they will decide whose fault it was by your attitude.

When they ask you about that lying, thieving, disgusting, wife beating boss you had at your previous job, be careful.  Remember, the slimeball’s dog still loves him.  Say only, “At my last job I accomplished..” and list the good things you got done.

If asked, “Why did you leave?”  Say, “My boss and I did not see eye to eye.”  Then add something else that is positive that you accomplished.

Never say more than one sentence at a time about that vile, filthy, back stabbing, dog kicking boss. Remember the Grinch’s cat still purrs when he pets it.  Make each short comment about him as positive as you can.  Follow that sentence with something positive you were able to get done at that job.

The best thing you can do is GET OVER IT.   Forgive the louse.  No.  Forgive the man.  Stop brooding.  It affects your attitude.  Hate will make it much harder to get a job.  Interviewers can smell your discontent.

Forgive, forget, and get on with your life.  Do you really think you will be telling every interviewer for the next 20 years about that boss?  You won’t.  The time to stop telling people about that boss is now.


Something To Do Today

Had a boss you hated?  Make a list of 10 things you accomplished there.  Not your job duties, things you made better.  Accomplishments.  Use that list every time you are asked about the job.


Later: Fired!

Job search progression

I Really Saw A Crab Do What People Do

Our family had stopped for lunch on a pretty little beach in Hawaii.  A family was there fishing.  The father was throwing a net and had some crab pots out.  The kids were fishing with a stick and a hook.  They invited us to join them.

Eventually the crab pots were brought in.  There were 3 crabs in the pots.  The dad grabbed the crabs with his bare hands and plopped them in a bucket.  I was 9 years old at the time and I remember telling all the adults that those crabs were going to get out.  I was scared.  They showed me how a crab can grab a stick with those claws.

One crab did get part way out once.  An adult came over and knocked it back in.  Other than that once, it was never a problem. You see crabs won’t let another crab get above them.  They pull them back down into the bucket. 

As a recruiter I’ve interviewed a lot of people who are like those crabs.  They complain about how unfair things are.  I can get lists of offenses they have suffered at work.  I can also get ingenious methods of retaliation they used.  They concentrate more on what they want than how to help the business make a bigger profit.  They expect someone to appoint them to lead and for everyone to meekly do as they say. 

Frank Fox told me, “Leadership is 90% seized and 10% granted.”    I’d say opportunity is also 90% seized and 10% granted.  Networks?  90% seized and 10% granted.


Something To Do Today

Look at your work group, church, friends, etc.  Who always decides where the group is going for lunch?  Who picks what you are going to do?

Who decides where you will meet?  How do they seize that control?  Write down some thoughts in your job journal.


For a few days:      How to network at the top.

Creating networks

Seizing opportunities

How natural leaders do it even if they have no titles.

Proof you are really good at getting the job

When you don’t get a particular job, sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and think about past successes.

Very few jobs are awarded to the only candidate considered.  In most situations, even internal promotions, at least 3 candidates are considered.  For the majority of outside hires more than 10 resumes are reviewed.  You never have a chance of getting the job.  But somehow, you eventually win.

Look at your current or last  job.  Who were the competitors? Why did you win? See! You are good at getting the job.

Now look at the next job you want to have.  What can you do today to give yourself the winning edge over the other candidates?

Goals can be used to give you that winning edge in an impossible competition.  Yesterday I talked to someone who spent $6000 last year to finish his degree while working full time.  Now he not only can win the jobs he looked at more easily, but he can look at a whole new level of jobs.

Set a goal to give yourself an unfair advantage in you next career move.

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser — in case you thought optimism was dead.  (Robert Brault)

Something To Do Today

Figure out when you can spend some time with your goals every day.  Just sitting with a pen and paper for 15 minutes each day can change your life if you are thinking about where you want to go.

Make sure the goals will give you a tangible advantage in your career.


Have a great New Year.

A Korean Attitude

I don’t mind an eight hour day, as long as it’s only once a week.  (Unknown)

Working as the night desk clerk at a hotel, my daughter got to know some interesting people.  A group of Koreans were staying at the hotel while taking English classes.  They were required to come up with words of wisdom from an American each day for the class to talk about.

One of the Koreans asked my daughter for help.  The quote she gave him is,

Now, if you trust in yourself and believe in your dreams and follow your star, you’ll still be beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy“  (Terry Pratchett, “Wee Free Men”)

It was perfect for the Koreans, because that is the attitude they are raised with from the cradle.  There is a lot to be said for it. That attitude raised South Korea from a bombed out third world country to a major economic force in one generation. Well, it did if you add the fact that they had a dream and followed their star.

I’m strongly in favor of dreaming and following your star.  Just remember, you’ll be beaten every time if you spend most of your time dreaming.


And, yes, I do know Terry Pratchett is English and not American.  The Koreans didn’t know that.


You have to give me a job – the scariest phrase I hear

How would you react to a candidate who said, “You have to give me a new job.  I am seriously considering suicide.”

I deal with that problem for real, literally.  Forgive me, please, all of you suicide counselors, but I react the same way to that statement as I do to a threat on my life.  The people who make that comment are a threat to me, my family, and my job. We have literally locked the front door of the office when worried about someone who made that comment.

You tend to infect people with your attitude.  We locked the door because we were physically scared.  Of course, we didn’t physically expect to get infected, but becoming psychologically infected is worse than a physical problem.  When your mind is infected with hopelessness and negativity it takes a lot of work and treatment to become employable.

Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation. (James Thurber)

There are ways to change your attitude.  If it really is caused by your job, you may want to quit right now.  The trouble is that most of the time the job does not cause the attitude, and quitting may make it worse.

What you need to do is grab a book that helps you change that attitude. Go to Amazon and under books search for “attitude”.  I like to get samples of the books delivered electronically to find out if I really want to buy them.  You can get a Kindle reader for your PC just for that purpose.

No one has to give you a job.  You have to earn a job.  Figure out what you can do to have an attitude that someone else wants to get infected with. Work at it. Get a book or get a counselor.


Something To Do Today

Check out two books on changing your attitude from the library.  One interesting one is “Learned Optimism”.  There are a lot of books that can help.


Later:             Inferiority


Networking facts

The unofficial 13th point of the Scout Law is a job interview secret

The unofficial, hidden, but occasionally admitted 13th point of the Scout Law is: A Scout is Hungry.

In your interview, you have to be hungry. You have to want to change jobs. You must crave opportunity. You have to believe you can really do something worthwhile in this new job.

A true terrible job interview

One man leaned back and put his feet up on the desk of his interviewer (mentally). He literally then looked over steepled fingers and waited to be told why he should care about working there. He interviewed for 6 months without getting a job. After I beat him to a bloody pulp in an interview debriefing, he got the idea. He had a job offer within a couple of weeks. He was hungry, and he began to let it show.

Assume the best if you have to interview cold. Assume it is the perfect company. Assume that their products sell themselves and that there will be a bright future. Interview like you will get the absolutely perfect job. Be keen, sharp, and ready to start. You have to interview to find out if it is really the team, boss and company you want to join.

Do your research. If you can, do research before your first interview. You can do it after the first interview if necessary. Find out if this is the company for you.

Every call, interview and email should show you are hungry. It should be undeniable that you want a great opportunity.

Hunger is the unofficial 13th point of the Scout Law. Be hungry.

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except the Boy Scouts have adult supervision. (Blake Clark)

Something to do today

If you are not hungry, you are probably bored and boring. Find something you can be hungry for.


I’m preparing  10 Boy Scouts to become Eagle Scouts in the next year. That’s why I will be talking about being an Eagle (Scout) in interviews for a couple of weeks.


Later: Interview like an Eagle – 13 parts

Start a salary bidding war

Top secret job hunting

Read want ads even if you are NOT job hunting


Free career intelligence

How to turn your dishwasher into a snowplow

Can a kick in the teeth help your career?

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.  (Walt Disney)

Can you believe Walt Disney said that?  He was such a nice guy!

Many of the happiest people I know were ruined at one point.  Some depressed people were also ruined, but they stayed that way.  It can be layoffs, bankruptcy, divorce, a major health problem or a terrorist act that is your personal disaster.  Often it is a combination of them, a major kick in the teeth.

One friend of mine was climbing the career ladder.  There was a disaster and he, his wife and kids all had to come and live in the basement of his parent’s house.  He took a dock worker job at trucking company.  He had no future. He learned that dockworker job and got promoted several times in only a couple of years.  Then he quit and formed a local company that expanded to several states.  He still loaded trucks when he had to… as the CEO helping out.  He won’t tell you he liked getting kicked in the teeth.  Instead, he’ll tell you it was a turning point.  It was the start of a new and exciting phase of his life.

Oh yeah, he got kicked in the teeth again and had the courts liquidate his company three years later.  Now he’s back at it. He didn’t enjoy it, but he just kept moving forward.

Happy or depressed, which will it be?  That depends on how long it takes you to put yourself in charge.  Being in charge is the subject of the next series of articles.  Positive steps you can take to prepare for or recover from disaster.

Something to do today

Talk to the 3 happiest people you know.  Get them alone.  Ask them if they were ever kicked in the teeth.  You may have to push them to find out.  Ask them about the list: layoffs, bankruptcy, divorce, health and terrorist acts.  I’ll bet you are surprised at what they call, “A blessing in disguise.”


Later:               You vs offshoring

Prepare to be a manager

You are underpaid, right?

How much can you make proving your attitude on your resume?

Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure.  The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.  (Norman Vincent Peale)

How much can you make from the attitude on your resume?

Many people earning over $150,000 each year cannot do the jobs of the people they supervise.  One of the reasons they are paid so much is that they can change the attitude of everyone who works for them. Creating the right attitude is so essential they may hire consultants, psychologists, and motivational speakers.  If you can help those higher level managers to create the right attitude, they’ll hire you.  You might even get that $150,000 job.

Prove your attitude

People who love their job prove it every day.  They volunteer to help, come in early and leave late.  Some people get involved in associations, online help forums, and job networks because they enjoy their job so much.  I’ve given college recruiting seminars because I wanted to tell others about my great job.  Put on your resume how you have shared your enthusiasm and knowledge with others.

If you have a great attitude you can think of several “proud moments” at work.  I still brag about the time I set a new production record for putting herbal powders in gelatin capsules.  It was a smelly unpleasant job where I loved breaking records. My setting those records got everyone else’s competitive spirit up and production soared.

At another job I remember finishing 4 months of being on-call for a new computer system.  I stayed up every night and babysat the system.  I helped bring the nightly problems from 10 or 15 down to 2 or 3 per night.  I’m proud of what I did.

Those are accomplishments that get you hired even if they don’t apply to the job you want to get.  They show a great attitude.

Go back through the jobs you have had.  Prove you had a great attitude. On your resume put moments you were proud of: helping others to work faster, training beginners, being on-call, working extra hours, and going beyond the job requirements. Prove your attitude.  Put the proof on your resume.  Mention the proof interviews.  Prove that you really want to change things for the better.  That alone may get you hired.

Something To Do Today

Make sure your attitude is obvious on your resume.

Use this resume planner to figure out how.


Tomorrow:     Show ability

Later:              Show cost cutting and budget saving

Show increased revenue

Show better customer service

The Heisenberg uncertainty principle

Post-it notes

How to succeed when you fail miserably

I almost committed career suicide.  Here’s what I did.

“Why are there no blacks and only 3 latinos out of 1200 employees?” I figured there was a good reason, and the president of the 25,000 person company gave me one.  However, my manager got me into his office and yelled at me.  He really yelled at me.

I left his office, grabbed my coat and walked out.  I had a choice to make as I got in my car.  Should I replay the incident over and over and get madder and madder, or should I concentrate on something else?

I chose badly for 15 minutes.  I got madder and madder.  Then I realized what I was doing.  I figured out that something must have triggered that outburst.  The president was not bothered by my question.  The manager that yelled at me was badly embarrassed.  I forgave him and started concentrating on something else, anything else.  In 10 minutes I was enjoying life on my terms again. And, yes, I found out three months later that they were now actively recruiting and training blacks specifically for that division.

Most jobs you apply for, you won’t get.  That’s just the statistical truth.  So how do you handle it when you lose?  You certainly have to notice what happened.  It is great to try to figure out what went wrong, if anything.  After you’ve evaluated what happened, start planning your next job success.

If you keep replaying every negative thing that happens while searching for a job, you’ll go crazy.  When you concentrate on what went well, you reinforce your positive behaviors.  When you relive the things that went wrong, you reinforce the negative. You also feel worse.  Work at feeling better.

To find yourself jilted is a blow to your pride.  Do your best to forget it and if you don’t succeed, at least pretend to. (Moliere)

My wife is a good piano player.  When she is learning a new piece she is careful NOT to practice known mistakes over and over.  She slows way down and practices it right.  Then she speeds up.  In her mind and in her fingers she concentrates on minor victories.  It can take her a month of practicing 2 to 4 hours a day to get a piece just right.  She’d go crazy if she concentrated on her mistakes.  She enjoys practicing because she celebrates every minor success.  She can find a success every minute.

You need to look for successes in your job hunting. If there is something you know you did wrong, slow down.  Instead of rehearsing the errors in your mind, mentally see yourself doing it right.  Find a quiet place and relax.  See yourself correcting mistakes and getting a positive response.

If someone else screwed up, slow down.  Concentrate on what you did right.  You can’t control the other person.  You can’t change history.  You can find a quiet place and relax.  You can rehearse in your mind what you did right.  In your mind you can practice correcting any mistakes you made.

Good mental hygiene is the difference between self improvement and self destruction. It also just plain feels better.

Something To Do Today

Get the book The NewPsycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.  It has a lot of great ideas about how to control your thoughts and happiness.

Change what you associate pain and pleasure with

I got this from Sandi in an email today and had to share it with you.  Your job search is marketing of yourself.  She is a marketer.  Her ideas about deciding what causes you pleasure or pain directly relates to your job search. — Bryan Dilts

Change What You Associate Pain And Pleasure With

By: Sandi Krakowski

You may not realize it right now but you are, at this very moment, being motivated and influenced by two things. These two things literally control how you make decisions, when you’ll make them and quite frankly, IF you’ll make them at all… or sit in limbo.

Many people go through their day, all day long, without ever giving much thought to these very important two things. Myself included! It’s not like I get up in the morning and take a conscious thought of how these two things are motivating me…. but they are. Deep inside my subconscious mind, inside your mind as well, these two things are moving everything… forward, backwards or even holding at a standstill.

What we associate pain and pleasure with is the single greatest motivator in everything we do.

I’m here to tell you that 8 years ago this month I made a decision to CHANGE on a very conscious level what I personally associate to pain and pleasure.

Maybe you’re like me and you’ve always thought it painful to get a critique on something. Coming from the childhood I did where I was motivated nearly every single day by my performance, it was obvious that pain was directly attached to any kind of critique or opinion. And let me say this, this kind of underlying belief did NOT help me as an entrepreneur and thriving business owner.

If you associate pain to any opinions, suggestions, input or critiques, because maybe you didn’t have the loving, nurturing and caring support you deserved as a young person growing up, you will do anything to avoid these at all costs. Here’s the startling part, you’ll do it without even thinking.

You’ll ignore suggestions.

Fear critiques.

Hate when someone asks you to wait because something else must come first. You can see where I’m going with this.

However, 8 years ago I began a process of growing my life and my business simultaneously that caused me to make a decision to change this underlying belief. Now I am extremely happy when my mentor or someone I ask for input gives me critiques, wisdom and advice on how I can improve. It also changed something else in me very dramatically- who I’d listen to when it came to input on my business. I’m now very cautious, in a very good way, who has the privilege of speaking into my life and giving me suggestions for my business.

Listening to the postman and his thoughts on what we should do to grow our business to the next level, or letting that person who has never made millions of dollars, let alone even thousands of dollars in an online business give me their ideas is now attached to pain. And rightfully so. I don’t want the critique and input of someone who hasn’t done what I am seeking to be exceptionally good at! I do however pay more than six figures per year to get the best in the world to give me their thoughts. Because I associate extreme pleasure to moving to the next level!

So my question for you today is this- who are you taking input, ideas and suggestions from?

If you let someone at Walmart that you bump into, or let’s get a little more personal, that relative of yours give you input on whether to invest into your business the first thing they’ll say is, “Can you afford it?”

Newsflash, we were more than $450,000 in DEBT when I invested into my business! I didn’t consult with my checkbook to determine whether or not I could ‘afford’ to invest into something that could change my entire life and business. That kind of mindset comes from someone who has a fixed income anyways.

Trying to build a bigger future on your current income is a faulty business model!

No, I listened to the input of multi-millionaires who reminded me that to increase my own skill and to develop what is necessary in business it would take some sacrifice. It would take a commitment to “be here a year from now” and to not give in the first time hardship came. I sold things on eBay, learned to cook very inexpensively so I COULD do whatever it took to always have a mentor.

We also took an inventory on what we were spending our money on…. and made a conscious choice… pain and pleasure, remember that?….to associate pain with not moving to the next level. This motivated me to avoid whatever held me back. PERIOD.

It took a “Balls to the wall!” approach when it came to my business… which means in plain English “Do the things that make money for crying out loud” and don’t sit on Facebook all day chatting about the cutest things you can find on Pinterest and how “one day” I’ll pay cash for them when my business that I’m building on free tools finally grows.

It is my personal conviction that when someone says to me that they cannot invest into their skill set because of a layoff at work, or a down turn in their personal economy, they simply do not understand what it takes to build a business. They are still locked in a corporate mindset that says, “This is how much we earn and this is how much we can spend because it won’t change unless someone else increases my pay.”

YOU my friends have got to associate pleasure with doing the work and increasing your own paycheck because YOU have made a decision to not settle for less.

If you want a pay increase, you are going to have to make sure your skill set lines up with what commands and directs a pay increase! And you’ll need to associate PLEASURE with the entire process.

You can’t take on a typical a college degree mindset, where it becomes painful and tedious to study and learn things. Stop. Check that thought. Is this your belief? Change it!

You must flip that and begin associating pleasure to learning and more pleasure to activating what you learn!Attach PAIN to staying the same way, associate deep internal pain to doing things as you’ve always done them. You are being motivated every single day by what you associate pain and pleasure to.

This is how you pay off debt, you change your habits, you make decisions correctly and quite literally, you change your life.

The question becomes, will you do what it takes?

ONLY you can decide. For those who are ready? I’m here to take you to the next step. Come on over to my Facebook page right now and tell me that YOU have made a decision to do whatever it takes!


With love,

Sandi Krakowski