I just wrote the following letter to an old friend and employee. This is a guy who worked faithfully for me when I founded my business 17 years ago. He sent me an email attempting to show me that it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t get a job. It was the fault of a former employer or two.
I replied:
It doesn’t matter how scum like your former boss was, you SOUND completely disloyal. You SOUND like an employee who was a problem. You explain way too much. You take personal shots. You show that you could find him if you wanted but he is so bad, so unworthy of respect that you refuse to acknowledge his presence in public. You make absolutely certain that your future employer knows you can’t stop bad mouthing people you dislike. I don’t want a person like that on my team, do you?
Why would someone hire you if they don’t know the full story? Why would they hire you if they do know the full story? You have done nothing to show you will be a great, loyal employee.
Remember, and always ask yourself:
Why should they do business with you versus any and every other option?
I guarantee there are other employees who worked for the same horrible guys who have had no trouble getting good jobs. So how are you different? You sound like a dog gnawing the same bone every day, the bone you bury every night only to dig it up the next morning.
These guys haven’t ruined your life. Okay, I’ll admit I am wrong if every person who worked for that employer has had the same impossible search for jobs, and the same inability to keep them.
My signature includes the saying,
The harder I work on me, the better my life gets.
Not my education. Me. My attitude, outlook, wisdom, spirituality, social graces, forgiveness, repentance, virtue, knowledge. The whole “Me”.
Sorry if I have offended you.
No, I don’t think I am the master of my fate. But I am the master of how I react to my fate.