A woman moved into a new neighborhood and asked the man next door what the people who lived there were like. He answered, “They’re just people. What were the people like in your last neighborhood?” She told him exactly what she thought. He replied, “I think you’ll find people around here are exactly the same kind of people.” It is mostly what you take with you, not the neighborhood, that determines how you will like where you live or where you work.
Laid off, fired, divorced, or the death of family, friends or pets can all make you hurt badly. The trouble is that many people take those hurts to work. There they perform poorly or not at all. Bosses understand a few days of mourning. The trouble is that some people don’t get back in the saddle. Those people are horribly unproductive or counterproductive for months and years.
The people who hurt the most have the toughest time finding a new job. It is so obvious when someone is suffering that we often tell them to take a week or two off to recover before they apply for another job. Why blow a great opportunity because you are in pain? Some people are so badly hurt we won’t even try to help them get a job.
In other words, don’t expect to get a great job while you are hurt or mourning. If you really hurt you need to change and get back to normal or no one will want to work with you.
Horrible social skills and terrible work habits have the same symptoms as debilitating pain. Some symptoms are that you think, and it is true, that everyone at your last job was HORRIBLE. The boss was a lunatic. All your coworkers avoided you. Promotions and pay raises were denied because someone hated you without any reason. People were talking behind your back. Everyone wanted you to leave.
The problem with that debilitating pain (or the other problems), is that you refuse to take responsibility yourself. When things are going that bad at a job, it is always your fault. You are bringing that anger upon yourself by something you do. Your attitude, reactions, the chip on your shoulder, or lack of listening, may incite the problem. Occasionally, very rarely, you have the wrong job. The problem is you.
I will get a lot of emails about this posting. People saying I am wrong. That it really is NOT their fault. Guess what? That means it is their fault. I’ll accept the emails. Will you accept your responsibility?
Something To Do Today
Think about your job search. Just think. And then take notes about your conclusions.
For 2 weeks: Zen and the art of getting a job
Tomorrow: Ruthlessly exploit
Later: Measure and maul
Making a silk purse
Why you aren’t paid what you are worth
A man dying of thirst
Diamond in the rough
Cleat marks up your back