The inability to forget is infinitely more devastating than the inability to remember. (Twain)
“Five wasted years due to a liar. I was promised equity, part ownership, and then they sold the company without giving it to me. I was robbed. I will never trust anyone again. Now I’m in it for the money. I’m in it for me.”
He has the skills to succeed, but who would hire him for an honest corporate level job now? He broods on wrongs done to him. His attitude and morals are shot. He is sure everyone lies and cheats. Every time he sends me a resume, it has incredible lies on it. He only remembers the bad, never savoring the good.
Some places will hire him for sales or sales management because of an undeniable track record. But will he cheat the customers or help them? Will he ever be a customer centered salesman again? He will be fired soon.
I have kept in contact with him for years and he has never recovered. He refuses to move on mentally. Morally he remains disfigured, brooding, and unreliable.
There are a lot of people like him. I ask these scarred souls, “How soon did you figure out your boss was lying?” Usually the answer is, “I found out 3 months (or days) after I started. But then it was too late to take another job.” I ask, “Why didn’t you get the promises in writing?” The answer is always, “I didn’t think I needed to. He kept telling me he would do it.” (Your boss wouldn’t do what he promised, so you trusted him??)
Time to forget that you were cheated. You made two mistakes:
- You decided to keep working for a liar, and
- You decided you didn’t need promises in writing from the liar.
What you should do is learn from the two lessons above and move on. Refuse to work for a liar again. Get promises in writing. And now start remembering all the good people you have known.
Good people attract good people. You will find that people who tell the truth in business don’t mind putting their promises in writing. As a matter of fact, they prefer putting promises in writing so that there is no dispute later about what they promised.
Now forget how you were robbed. That was one bad boss. No need to tell the story over and over. Frankly forgive him. If you are suing him, let your lawyer worry about it. If you aren’t taking him to court, drop it completely.
Learn from your mistakes. Continue trusting people. Get promises in writing. Learn the right lessons and forget the pain. You’ll be happier.
Something To Do Today
Liar research day. Who do you know who says they were robbed in a job or business? Come on. You probably know a few. Ask them the two questions:
- How soon did you figure out he was lying and why did you stick with him so long?
- Did you get all those promises in writing?