Why would your boss think you are as bad as a cheating husband?

This may be counter-intuitive, but when you try to leave your job, your boss looks at YOU as the cheating husband.  Your boss sees YOU as the betrayer no matter how many times he has failed to follow up on his promises. He may have not given you any raises in 4 years, but he sees you as the person who is making his life miserable.

Your boss sees himself as the righteous WIFE in this story when you quit.  If you agree to stay due to his pleadings, pay raises, promotions, and cajoling, he absolutely loses his trust in you.  Here is how he feels.

Your boss thinks he is the wife in this example

Your husband asked for a divorce last week. He quit. He has been dating another woman who is so much nicer than you. He is cheating. He told you about her looks, personality, family, and friendship. He was preparing to move out until last night. You begged him to stay for the kids’ sake. You agreed to change the way you treat him. You will start exercising, get a facelift and breast implants. He finally agreed to dump that floozy. It is so nice to have him in your arms again. He’s yours. (Remember, you are the husband, he is the wife who is getting surgery to get you to stay.)

It’s two weeks later. He needs to “work late” for the second time this week. Can you keep yourself from calling his office?

He’s gone on 3 overnight business trips this month. Are you going to check the credit card statements when they come?

You called at 3 pm and the receptionist said he is out of the office. You really want to get an ankle bracelet to track him, don’t you?

Your boss

When you tell your boss you are quitting, and he sweet talks you into staying, he has already lost faith in you. The next time you have a dental appointment he is going to wonder. When a big opportunity comes up he’ll remember that you took an extra half hour at lunch one day last week. He’ll give the big project to someone else who he is sure will stay in the company and finish it.

Once you give notice you are quitting, leave. Come back in 6 months if you were wrong. Then your boss will know that your commitment to your new employer was firm, but things didn’t work out. When you accept his pleas to stay, he knows you just screwed the other company. He’ll be wondering when you will screw him.

That’s real life.

Something to do today

Prepare a resignation letter that only says: Thank you for the chance to work here. My last day of work will be xx/xx/xx.

Now practice this phrase 20 times: “Let’s not talk about why I am leaving, let’s talk about how I can make the transition easier on you.”