John enters the room and smiles a second. Then the weary look of trench warfare, mustard gas, and too many days huddled in muddy water take over his face. Listening to one conversation he closes his eyes and barely moves his head side to side. He adds one point of gloom to another conversation. By the time the meeting starts everyone feels a little hopeless. Then the manager comes in and gives an upbeat presentation about success, profits, goals and objectives. Somehow it doesn’t quite take off. Everyone has a vague feeling of unease. Only a few trace it to John.
John enters a room and the energy of the team gets worse and worse. He has been warned about his negative attitude, so he is subtle. John never comes close to committing a firing offense. He should be fired anyway. Immediately.
You can teach a dog to do brain surgery with less effort and damage than trying to teach a John to be happy. Hopefully some cosmic shift will happen and John will take charge of his life. Once he really starts making progress in the areas that bother him, the rest of the world will shift. His outlook will shift.
The trouble is that change has to come from within. Bosses, coworkers, spouses and children have tried to change John for years now. No one else can change John but himself. When that happens, he will add life to other people instead of sucking all the joy out of living.
Something to do today
Are you John? Are you the whiner, moaner and complainer? No? Prove it. Count how many positive things you say for every negative thing. What is the ratio? What is the effect?
A woman I know well was promoted to a level way above her comfort zone. She had never failed in the past with her last position, but this new promotion was stressful and a big deal to her. One of her friends gave her this advice: