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When you are fired or laid off, you are wounded. How do you tell when you are healed?

“Of one thing I am certain, the body is not the measure of healing, peace is the measure.” —Phyllis McGinley

You may need to take a week or two off before looking for a job. If you start searching for a job before your wounds have started to heal, you may keep yourself out of jobs because your interviewing is filled with raw pain.  Over and over I have seen people totally botch phone and in-person interviews because they hadn’t healed enough from their job exit wounds.

As you notice peace again, your wounds are being healed.

If you are really having a hard time letting go of the hurt, unfairness, and pain you may want to try something I do.  Go to a cemetery.  Spend an hour there walking and thinking.  Do it every day for a while until you start feeling peace.  There is nothing like a cemetery to remind you of how important the way you were treated in your last job is in the long run.  It reminds me that I will be judged on how I act, love, and forgive, not on what others do. It reminds me of the shortness of my life and that I don’t want to spend my time in bitterness.  It is my choice.

You can do the same thing by sitting in a big old church.  Pastors are happy to let you sit there even if the church is closed.  If the door is open, go in and sit.  Or knock on the rectory door (the house next door where the pastor lives) and ask for  a favor.  Or try going to a downtown church or homeless shelter to find a chapel to sit in.  Hospitals have chapels open 24 hours each day.  Evenings are a good time to find an open church.  Many catholic churches have a morning mass and you can ask the Priest if you can just stay and sit.

Sometimes I just find a mountain trail and go for a hike for a few hours. Your local outdoor sports store and state parks department will have maps available.

It is much better to take a week off, than to apply for a job when you are bitter, upset, and still bleeding from a job wound.  Take some time. Find some peace.  You will get a better job.

During a job interview I have never heard someone complain of how badly they were treated and how horrible the boss was in a job 20 years ago.  You will eventually stop complaining about your treatment.  Why not stop now?  You’ll be happier.

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It always sounds self serving when I say it.

So read here what are 3 solid reasons to not even consider a counter offer.

When you quit your job, and your old company offers you a raise, better offices, and a promotion if you stay, it is because they are desperate.  Desperate people don’t really love the people who drove them to desperation. They remember.

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HR said, “We are still going to bring George in, but his Thank You note wasn’t professional at all.”

I cringed as she told me the problem.  Then I decided to do a survey of managers, directors, and HR folks to see how a Thank You can be done wrong.

The 3 biggest mistakes:

1. A text message Thank You
2. A sloppy ugly note
3. Spelling and grammar errors

A text message thank you

Nothing says I didn’t really want to send this message as much as a text message.  The short, compressed, choppy text message can only give a bad impression. An email is the most common thank you note.  Email is fine but text messages reek of insincerity to many managers.

A sloppy ugly note

A clean typewriter paper page with a short handwritten note is great.  A card from the store with nothing inside but your neatly written thanks is wonderful.  Typed is okay if your handwriting is bad.  Short is best.

Paper ripped from a spiral notebook is horrible.  A napkin with a note — please, don’t even consider it.  A pen that skips and was restarted on the page, don’t send it! A card printed from your PC – don’t!  They just don’t look professional.  We are going for professional here.

Spelling and grammar errors

If you have any doubts, don’t send it.  Hand it to someone who is good at spotting bad grammar and spelling.

In a nutshell

You will be judged by what you send.  If it looks professional, heartfelt and personal, you will be judged well.  If it looks unprofessional, you will look unprofessional.

It is best to send a nice professional looking note.  If you aren’t sure, sending nothing is better than broadcasting your incompetence.

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Lou Adler wrote an article, but he titled it wrong.  The article is really about why changing jobs a little more often can make a huge difference in how much you earn and how much you learn.

He gave it the misleading title “When Working At A Troubled Company Makes Sense.”  Go down to the graph, and see how it applies to switching jobs either internally or to another company as often as you sensibly can.

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