Category Archives: Resumes

Hiding real problems

Posted on November 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

If you’re afraid to let someone else see your weakness, take heart: Nobody’s perfect.  Besides, your attempts to hide your flaws don’t work as well as you think they do. (Morgenstern)

Does this make my butt look big?  No. Your butt looks big anyway.  Let me find something that makes people look at your smile.  It is ravishing.  They will never care about what you are sitting on.

More than one starlet has played an irresistible vixen on TV while 8 months pregnant.  How?  They focused on the everything above and below the swollen pregnant belly, and the actress stayed out of the tabloids until fully recovered. No one ever saw the belly.

If you have problems, even severe problems, you have to make sure the camera focuses somewhere else.

Common problems people want to hide are frequent job changes, being fired, bad references, a several year sabbatical from your field, not accomplishing much, working for a disreputable employer, an ogre boss, etc.

One way to hide problems is to point out what you did well.  If you switched jobs too much, create a resume format that draws the reader’s eyes away from your employment dates and to your accomplishments.   If you have bad references, you may want to emphasize how long you worked for a company so that those bad references will sound like sour grapes. If you left your desired field for a few years and want to get back, make those few years a one line entry, not a detailed account.  You may want to put your jobs in order at the top of your resume, but put the dates at the bottom of the resume in another section on the third page.

If your problem might get your hiring manager in trouble later, make sure he knows about it before you receive an offer.  If you are using a recruiter, tell him up front before he submits you anywhere.  If you hurt someone who is trying to help you, your bad reputation will be spread very quickly.

Accentuate the positive.  Make people’s eyes slide past the negative to get to the ravishing.  It’s a game you see every day on TV.

Leave a comment

Posted in Accomplishments, Focus, Resumes

Tagged , , , , , ,

Halloween and your job search

Posted on October 28, 2010 | Leave a comment

Tips for job seekers and Halloween trick or treaters are just about the same.  Think about how each of these directly applies to looking for a job.

  1. If you are scared, get your dad (a coach) to help on a few doors.
  2. Dress for success.  Look the part from your hair to your shoes, bag and greeting.
  3. The neighborhood you call on defines the size of the treats you get.
  4. Not everyone is giving out one pound candy bars, but they are all worth visiting.
  5. The more houses you call on, the more likely you will get a one pound candy bar.
  6. Go BACK to the biggest house with the best candy later.
  7. The most successful trick or treaters plan their routes and run from door to door.
  8. If you don’t knock, they won’t answer.
  9. If the porch light is out, you won’t get any candy, but you may get advice.
  10. Some of the scariest houses give the best treats.
  11. You get more treats if you start early and work late.
  12. Asking for candy in the traditional way works, ingenuity may get you more.
  13. Helping a little kid can double your take.
  14. Always say thank you.
  15. Sometimes they just ran out of treats, sorry.
  16. Going with friends (groups and social media) can make a scary neighborhood safer.
  17. It is a night of cold calling, even if you know the people.
  18. Trade candy (leads) afterwards to get what you really want.
  19. If you go to a party instead, and complain, you won’t get a big bag of candy.
  20. Don’t blow out the candle in the pumpkin.
  21. Do it again next year, only better, now that you have experience.

Wow!  I could write 21 articles based on those points.  Let me make a few quick points instead.

  1. Planning and preparation. If you want the best chance of quick success, take 15 minutes each day and an additional 4 hours each week to review results, make lists, THINK, and plan for the coming week.  And make sure you have resumes that are attractive so people to call you back.
  2. Work hard and fast. Actually do what you plan.  Make calls and contacts daily.  It is amazing how often luck follows hard work.
  3. Go back again. You should be talking to your best prospects at least monthly.  If you spend 15 minutes thinking and looking for a reason to call, you can usually come up with a helpful reason to call almost anyone.
  4. Work together. Share leads.  Offer to critique other’s resumes.  Suggest websites, books, and other job search ideas.  A lot of people find the perfect job in the castoffs and contacts from someone else’s search. Go to someone else’s house and both of you make calls at the same time.
  5. Be polite. Just because they say “No” doesn’t mean they hate you.  Say thank you and contact them again if it is a company you really want to join.  Never burn bridges or “blow out the candle” with anyone.

Have a great Halloween, and an even better job search.  Good luck finding that one pound candy bar!

Leave a comment

Posted in Accomplishments, Attitude, Finding jobs, Focus, Networking, Perseverance, Resumes, Time management

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

7 Ways To Get A Job You Are Not Qualified For

Posted on October 27, 2010 | Leave a comment

Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.  (Hoffer)

Many people say Saddam Hussein was the foremost expert in hiding what is not there.  Rather than argue the facts, let’s exploit his methods.  It works when you are trying to get a job or promotion to do something you have never done before.

Saddam showed great enthusiasm for the weapons he was not supposed to have.  He built expertise in their design, construction and use. He got hold of parts of the technologies required to build the weapons and made sure the world knew it.  Tests were done openly with related weapons and delivery systems.  His experts visited seminars, arms factories and suppliers of illegal goods.  There were even articles published by “insiders” who “blew the cover” of the program. Last of all, he refused to prove he didn’t have the expertise.

Here is how to apply Saddam’s tricks towards getting a job or promotion you have no experience for:

  1. Show enthusiasm for the job.
  2. Learn on your own.  Get certifications.  Join societies.  Read related magazines.
  3. Start doing what you can.  Programmers (to be) can create games and databases.  Salesmanagers (to be) can lead popcorn sales for the Boy Scouts that gross a quarter million dollars. A computer technician (to be) can put together a network in his basement.
  4. Get a job in or volunteer to work somewhere that is doing what you want to do, even if you are not directly involved.
  5. Talk to people doing what you want to do.  Attend their seminars and trade shows.  Discuss the latest ideas in the field with people in that field.
  6. Start a blog.  Write articles for trade publications–they are always starved for good thoughtful articles.  Call reporters with ideas and quotes.
  7. List what you have done in your resume or job review.  Do NOTapologize for lack of experience.  Emphasize what you have done.

In order to get the first shot at your future, you have to prepare. Eventually your enthusiasm and persistence will get you an opportunity.

Leave a comment

Posted in Attitude, Finding jobs, Networking, Resumes

Apaches – hiding inside your resume

Posted on October 26, 2010 | Leave a comment

Hide not your talents.  They for use were made.  What’s a sundial in the shade? (Franklin)

Walking on the flat, open plains, an Apache claims he can disappear from sight. There is no place to hide, so the Army officer backs off to a safe distance and turns his back for a minute.  Sure enough the Apache is gone, but there is no place to hide.  After the officer searches fruitlessly for awhile, the Apache erupts from the ground.

In the book  Life Among The Apaches, John Cremony gives example after example of Apaches hiding where it should be impossible to be out of sight.

Do YOU hide inside your resume?

Another example: Be honest.  Do you read every insert in every medicine package you buy?  Every word?  Why not?  You may open it up and take a few seconds to look for something obviously important, then you throw it away.  Critical information is on those inserts, but you don‘t read them.

Is your resume as bad as that insert?

You’ve got 2 or 3 sheets of paper for your resume.  How much do you hide in plain sight?  Are the most important facts about you hidden in long paragraphs?  Are they hidden at the END of bullet points?

In school you were required to write in paragraphs.  Opening sentence, 3 arguments saving the best for last, and a closing sentence.  Guess what?  It does NOT work for resumes.  No one reads paragraphs in a resume. No one gets to your best argument.

Use bullet points that are effective.

  • A bullet should be less than one line
  • Power words at the beginning
  • Never give the whole story
  • Make readers want to call you
  • Your most important word should be in bold in a set of bullets

A resume’s job is to get you an interview.  Nothing more.  It is not a job interview. It is not a medicine package insert.  It is not an essay.

Does your resume get read?  Does it get you an interview?  If not, change it.

Here is the QUICK FIX

This is an exercise that will help you fix your resume and get job interviews.

  • Make a copy of your resume
  • Cut your longest paragraphs down to three lines
  • Do not split paragraphs, mercilessly shorten them
  • Make every bullet in your resume less than half a line.

After you have done this, look over the two resumes.

Which is most likely to be read?

Now that you have hacked with an axe, go in with an editors pen and make your resume more readable.  But don’t make it longer or you’ll be like that Apache again, hiding in plain sight.

One more idea?  Go to www.grab-me.us and check it out.

Leave a comment

Posted in Resumes, Uncategorized

4 Signs Your Resume Is Trash

Posted on October 25, 2010 | Leave a comment

Living in a ghetto, slum or trailer park does not make you trash.  Mother Theresa lived in a slum.  Her resume was good enough to get a Nobel Peace Prize.

I get some REALLY bad resumes. They say:

I can’t do this job.  I have no skills or training.  The reason I have the nerve to apply for it is because I really will work hard.  I know I was fired from my last job.  It wasn’t my fault.  The job really was terrible.  The job before that was terrible too. I’m not a freak.

We get at least one of these resumes or cover letters every week.  Yes, this bad.  Okay, only close to this bad.  The resume is trash.  It is literally worse than nothing.

Being laid off or fired tends to get workers, salespeople and executives to focus on the negatives from their previous job.  They feel they have to explain things in their resumes.  That is a mistake.  Your resume has only one job, to get you an interview.  It is not a confessional.  It is not investigative journalism.

Here are 4 signs your resume will be thrown away in record time:

  1. Explain that you are part of a group that would normally not be hired (I want to learn to be a…)
  2. Tell why your boss was an idiot in your last job (I was not allowed to fix…)
  3. List excuses instead of accomplishments (Due to lack of…)
  4. List skills way below those really required for this job (As a carpenter I sawed boards…)

Are you sure you don’t do any of these?  Usually these errors are hidden in a cover letter or large paragraph.

Something To Do Today

Seriously look at every line of your resume and cover letter.  Every single line. Do you make excuses?  Do you subtly or openly put down your previous boss or job?  Were you smiling as you wrote it because of the subtle needle in a paragraph?  Is a skill you list so basic it shows your lack of higher skills?  Do you put yourself in a group of losers accidentally?

Leave a comment

Posted in Attitude, Resumes

Polar Bear Testicles and your job search

Posted on September 29, 2010 | Leave a comment

CNN had a story on shrinking polar bear testicles.  They went into detail about how it was an indicator of global warming destroying the earth.  I would hate to be the scientist with a bag of bear treats trying to make that measurement.  Then there was a brief blurb about the lowest SAT college exam scores in 30 years.  The SAT scores were just barely worth mentioning.

Which of the two stories caught your attention?  Shrinking polar bear testicles.  It was improbable, bizarre, and got you worried about vague worldwide problems.

Which story was really the most significant for your personal prosperity?  The SAT scores.  It affects every company in the USA.  More money, focus, worry, and concern are being focused on polar bear testicles than on why SAT scores are dropping.

Everything is not of equal importance.  The biggest problem that most job seekers have is that they are very focused on the wrong thing.

Are you focusing on these things?

  1. Finding jobs on job boards
  2. Sending out resumes
  3. Perfecting your cover letter
  4. Creating one perfect resume
  5. New ways to search Indeed.com
  6. Sending out more resumes

They are the wrong thing. Sorry.

You should focus on….

  1. Talking to hiring managers
  2. Talking to the bosses of hiring managers

Those are the only things that count.  If you are talking to one hiring manager a day, you are outperforming someone who sends out 50 resumes to qualified jobs every day.

Networking is the most effective way to talk to hiring managers.

No. Asking someone to introduce you to a hiring manager is not what I mean.  That is great,  but it is also a distraction.  The IMPORTANT networking you can do every day is to find hiring managers, ask them for some help they can easily give, and then stay in touch occasionally.

I haven’t got time to go over the details today.  I’ve done seminars and a hundred articles on how to do that.  I’ll try to publish a slew of them in the next couple of weeks.

Don’t get distracted by polar bear testicles.  Focus on talking to hiring managers every day and staying in contact with them until you have that new job.

Leave a comment

Posted in Finding jobs, Job Boards, Perseverance, Resumes, Time management

Tagged , , , , ,

Motivating Recruiters

Posted on September 16, 2010 | Leave a comment

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score.  The real excitement is playing the game.  (Trump)

Many recruiting offices have a button that rings a bell.  You can only push the button when you make a placement.  Some recruiters live only to press that button.  When they do press it, they keep their finger down for a full minute.  It drives everyone else nuts….with envy.  Recruiters are competitive people.

Placing someone in a job motivates recruiters.  Sure recruiters want money.  That is not their base motivation.  Their whole job is centered on making placements.

Want to motivate a recruiter?  Convince them they can place you quickly.

Some things that help:

  1. A great resume showing accomplishments, not responsibilities
  2. A positive attitude
  3. Talents that are in strong demand
  4. Winning interview skills
  5. Reasonable salary expectations
  6. Motivation to take a new job
  7. Little job hunting done on your part already
  8. A list of companies you would like to work for
  9. An exclusive relationship with the recruiter
  10. Your spouse and kids back you in the move
  11. Willingness to relocate or commute
  12. Ability to interview at a moment’s notice
  13. Great references that can be checked immediately or that are already on LinkedIn
  14. A current job

If you bring me all of the things above, I will start salivating.  I will drop everything I am doing and find you a job.  So will any other recruiter worth his salt. With that list, you should find a recruiter who will market you.  Get his commitment to report back how his marketing is going. If he won’t commit, he is the wrong recruiter.

The way to motivate a recruiter is to be a great candidate.  If you have a motivated recruiter, soon you’ll have a new job.

————————-

Something To Do Today

Go back over that list.  Can you figure out how to line up more of those things for your next job hunt?  Ask a recruiter for his honest opinion, “How marketable am I and what can I do to make myself irresistible to you?”

Leave a comment

Posted in Accomplishments, Finding jobs, Focus, Quitting or Fired, Recruiters, Resumes, Training

Resume blasting – cockroaches, paper, and email carpet bombing

Posted on August 20, 2010 | Leave a comment

We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways. (Crothers)  Yet often we fail our way to success.

An 18 inch cockroach is the best resume I’ve seen. A friend of mine was applying for a job as a programmer of railroad simulators. He knew that many programmers could do the technical part.  He also knew that the artistic part was just as important. Drawing is difficult, but sculpture is even tougher.  He sent a giant cockroach sculpted in great detail as his resume. He got a call back, the interview and the job.

A good resume gets you an interview. Electronic, paper, CD, metal, cloth or clay.  If it gets you an interview, it is a success.

Sometimes I hate success.  Every time I get a paper resume I like, I have to ask for an electronic one.  I hate it.  Those few paper resumes are successes.  They get a call from me.  I hate those successes. The candidates love them because they work.

Should you send out paper resumes?  That depends.  Some places automatically trash paper resumes. At those companies paper is a waste.  How about a multimedia CD?  I get the resume off and then throw them away.  I don’t like those either.  But that isn’t the criteria.  Does it get you an interview?  If it does, it is a great resume.  And notice I said I get the resume off the CD’s.

I suggest you send paper or CD resumes out in small quantities only.  Target your recipient. Follow up closely in case they require a different format.

Some people strongly disagree.  They will ask you to pay them a few thousand dollars to send out a huge postal or email blast of resumes for you.  I just heard sending out thousands of resumes called “carpet bombing.” Some services carpet bomb recruiters.  Others carpet bomb companies. I receive carpet bomb resumes every day.  I’ve never made a placement from one, but I will admit I at least glance at them whether they are paper, faxed, or by email.

I do think ResumeRabbit is a good way to get your resume on a lot of internet job boards, if you really want broad exposure and know the downside. ResumeSpider is a service that sends me a daily email with a few resumes.  I do look at those.  There is no other carpet bombing/resume blasting service in paper, electronic or fax media that I recommend.  Before I would spend money on that, I’d spend it on getting another certification to help my job search.  But I’m not you.  Just be careful with your money.

————————-

Something To Do Today

Go through the list of companies you sent a resume to.  Are there some that really should have contacted you but didn’t?  Can you do anything to your resume to get a call back from them?

Leave a comment

Posted in Finding jobs, Job Boards, Resumes

Tagged , , ,

Resume blasting – job boards

Posted on August 20, 2010 | Leave a comment

Water from a hose can make plants grow or blast them out of the ground. Planning and aim make the difference.

Should you put your resume out on one internet job board?  On 50?  It really could get you a job.  But there’s a down side too.  Consider:

Your boss calls you into his office and closes the door.  “Two days ago you posted your resume on an internet job board.  Why are you quitting?”  Are you looking forward to that conversation?

Want even more fun?  You may not have posted your resume on the internet for 6 months.  A job board you never visited may have bought your resume and posted it without permission.  That way they can attract employers.  I know one guy who got called in by his boss 2 years after he first posted his resume.  The funny thing was that 2 years ago that posting got him his current job and the boss who was cross examining him.

One way to avoid this problem is to post a confidential resume.  It isn’t foolproof, but it will keep you from being recognized by all but those who know your background in detail.  The problem is that you will get fewer responses to your posting.

Recruiters and resume blasting are a two sided coin.  Putting your resume on a website may get you calls from a lot of recruiters.  However, some recruiters refuse to work with candidates who have posted their resumes.  The ones who refuse to work with you because you posted your resume online are far fewer in number, but tend to have the more exclusive job openings.

Posting your resume online can absolutely energize your job search.  It can also be a long term problem.  It is easier to post your resume than to get it off the internet.

If you decide to post to as many places as possible you may want to consider a service like ResumeRabbit. It can submit you to up to 85 sites instantly.

————————-

Something To Do Today

Go to ResumeRabbit and look at the places they will post your resume.  Whether you use the service or not, you may want to look for job postings at some of those sites.

Leave a comment

Posted in Job Boards, Resumes, Uncategorized

Tagged , ,

The Rush Limbaugh Job Interview

Posted on August 12, 2010 | Leave a comment

I have half my brain tied behind my back, just to make it fair.  (Rush Limbaugh)

My apologies in advance.  I like Rush Limbaugh.  He is a great entertainer.

Can you imagine interviewing someone with Rush Limbaugh’s on-air attitude?  It might go something like this:

Q. What are your most current skills?

A. I not only have skills, I have abilities, insight and a keen intellect that will be focused with laser-like intensity on your problems.  You no longer need to think.  You only need to hire me and stand back.  I have come to save you with Talent on loan from God. (Translation: I will come to work.)

Q. What can you do for our company?

A. Do?  With the blazing brainpower you are blessed to see before you, I will revolutionize your company.  The darkest cranny and the most exposed pinnacle will be dazzlingly transformed and transmuted into veritable gold.  I have come to solve every intractable problem that has heretofore escaped resolution. (Translation: I will think while working.)

Do you say as little with so many impressive words?

In an interview or on your resume do you embroider your answer with colors that confuse? Do you try to show your enthusiasm with concrete accomplishments, or do you camouflage with flowery verbiage?

I do interviews and read resumes every day.  I prefer facts simply spoken.  I enjoy examples plainly displayed. I delight in crisp clean thought.

Give an interviewer what he craves, and he will give you a job.  Simplify, simplify, simplify. Tell what you actually have done and can do.  You will stand out and be noticed.  Your accomplishments will be remembered.  You will be asked to accept a job..

————————-

Something To Do Today

Focus on what you do best and what makes you different.  Take everything else out of your resume.  Why tell a hiring manager that water is wet?  Tell him what sets you apart.

Leave a comment

Posted in Interviews, Resumes