Category Archives: Finding jobs

The heroes in Men In Black have to stop a giant cockroach from leaving the earth.  If it leaves, the earth will be destroyed.  They are able to engage it in a conversation, sort of. They find out what is interesting enough to get the cockroach to come down and interact with (try to kill) them.

“Hiring managers are like giant cockroaches. They just want to hide in their offices and get away from you.”  If you can engage the manager or his assistant cockroach in a conversation you will multiply your chances of getting an interview or a job.  Here is how you do it:

First, make sure you want the job and that you are a decent fit.  The Men In Black were the guys in charge of saving the earth.  They were motivated and had the tools, they just had to figure out how to do it.  If you are qualified to become a computer technician, audit manager or director of international sales, engage the hiring manager in a conversation.  If you are not qualified for the job, just send him a resume through Monster. That way it only takes you 10 seconds to send it and the computer will automatically delete it for them.  Conversation only works if you really want the job and really are qualified.

Now, write down the titles the hiring manager may have.  Then call up the company and ask for that person.  You may get through to him or you may get routed to someone else.  If you get routed to someone else ask, “Are you helping (title) find the person for (job name)?”  Push your way through until you get to someone who actually is helping him find a new employee.  It doesn’t matter if it is him, the HR department or a receptionist.  It has to be someone directly involved with the hiring process for that particular job.

When you get to the right person, say, “You are looking for a (job name). What has been the hardest thing for you to find in the right person?”  Then wait. Engage them in a discussion of what they are having a hard time finding in a new hire.  Make sure and ask, “Is there anything else you have a hard time finding?”  Ask that last question again and again.  Probe their answers.  Find out what the problem is that they have to solve.

Another good question is, “For the (job name), what is causing you to throw away most of the resumes that you get?”  Then probe that too.  Add, “Is there anything else?”  Listen.  Ask more questions.  Find out what can disqualify you.

Be helpful.  If you find out you are the wrong person, offer to tell someone else who is qualified about the job.  If you are the right person say, “I really fit that job, what is your email address so that I can send you my resume directly?”  You have a 50-50 chance of getting their direct email address, and that will get your resume right on top of the pile.  If you really are qualified, that is a great place to be.  And you get there by engaging them in a conversation.

Don’t forget to specifically change your resume and cover letter to match their needs.  Then call up an hour later and ask, “Did you get my resume?  What more do you need to know?”  You may just end up having a phone interview right then and there.

Last time I proved beyond a reasonable doubt that hiring managers are NOT God.  I even said, “Hiring managers are like giant cockroaches. They just want to hide in their offices and get away from you.  You are a waste of their time unless you tell them something that proves they need you.  They would rather have their receptionist shred your resume than take the time to talk to you.”

Are you like the little kid in this story?

A grandfather was walking through his yard when he heard his granddaughter repeating the alphabet in a tone of voice that sounded like a prayer.  He asked her what she was doing.  The little girl explained, “I’m praying, but I can’t think of exactly the right words, so I’m just saying all the letters, and God will put them together for me, because he knows what I’m thinking.  (Charles B. Vaughan)

The hiring manager is not God.  He is a giant cockroach.

You cannot assume that a hiring manager will glean 4 key words and 2 key points out of a 3 page resume.  You get no points for length and thoroughness.  You get no points for briefness.  You get points, or an interview, for saying the key words and phrases that the hiring manager wants to hear. If you don’t  shout those key words and phrases, the manager’s receptionist will shred your resume.  Then the cockroach can hide in his office where you can’t get to him. (I wonder if the light goes off when he shuts the door?)

To find the right words and phrases you need to do some forensic language work.  Like a crime scene investigator.  Take 3 or 4 job listings or newspaper ads for different jobs with the same company. Place them all side by side.  With a blue highlighter mark all the phrases that are identical.  Identify the stuff the human resources department puts around the description the hiring manager wrote.  That fluff may possibly be necessary to get you past the HR department, but it won’t get you a job.

Now take your yellow highlighter.  Mark every misused acronym, word, technical term or technical phrase.  Those are the words the HR person didn’t understand.  They could very well be critical.  You need to have an exact match on those words in your resume.

Continue marking with an orange highlighter.  Again look for all the technical terms and acronyms.   Mark them all.  The orange words are the most likely to be used by a computer or receptionist to screen out resumes.

Finally, go back over the resume with a pink highlighter.  Mark the skills that are the most difficult to find.  What are the things in the ad that everyone wants and nobody has?

I bet those ads look terrible.  That’s good.  It means you have taken the time to study the exact words that will get you an interview.  You need to include those words and technical phrases in your resume.  They will force the screener to pass your resume on to the hiring manager.  He will have to call you in order to see if you can do the job.  You will prevent him from closing his door and hiding from you.  (And if someone does know, does the light go off in his office when he shuts the door?)